


Mortal Touch

by uselessmoth



Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, POV Patroclus, Sad bois, battle of troy like a couple years in, i should be studying, i tried to write like mm, insecure patroclus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 15:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20548580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uselessmoth/pseuds/uselessmoth
Summary: When night falls the mind can wanderAnd sometimes it not always goodBut others can offer comfort





	Mortal Touch

It's in the middle of the night when the doubts begin to creep into my mind. Swirling together like water, the blue of the happy being washed away with the deep dark black of the sad. no amount of willing will push them from me. Collecting and wanting to wash over everything good at this moment. 

The fear of him leaving me not because fate catches up to him. No, I came to accept that many years ago. A night with him in my arms and us softly whispering in a fear that Chiron would hear. A fear that he leaves me for he realises that I am me. Sees me as I truly am. How everyone else in this camp sees me. Nothing but Achilles' shadow. 

He would realise I am not worthy of his love and care. I am a mortal with no great prophecy to leave a great legacy behind when I move on to the underworld. No fighting or musical skills and not even look to help me be noticed in my life. My hair is short and dark, always messed up and some parts not even lying flat. Nothing compared to his beautiful golden strands that reach down his backs. Shimmering in the sunlight and candlelight like precious gold. Mixing perfectly with his golden skin and those forest green eyes. The green is hidden from me now. Behind flickering eyelids framed by long dark eyelashes. Using my hand to brush his hair away from his face, watching him in his slumber. So peaceful and different when he is outside of this tent. Here he is a boy, outside he is a weapon. Chosen to bring the downfall of Troy. 

He deserves so much more than me. I am a blemish on his perfect world. The only flaw he posses. He will leave me soon enough, no doubt in the world about it. No god stays with a human, his parents proof of that. His mother only stayed because of him. As soon as he left she followed not giving a second thought to his father. Why would he stay with me? I can not offer him anything but myself. A pathetic mortal who has nothing in this world but his wits and clothes upon his back. His powers and fame are all things want in this world. How do you give nothing to a god who has it all? I cannot give children or gold. Even if I could give gold, he has no need for it. It surrounds us, mocking me almost at how much he already has. If I needed that in this time of night. His victories are all well earned. 

Nothing I do will even begin to live up to his legacy. I am going to be left alone, nothing but a fling. Something to give him pleasure until no longer needed. Someone to hold when he had nothing, now he has everything and will not need my mortal touch. Many women are around the camps to tempt him into their love, being worthy suitors for him. I can not even begin to compare to them in the slightest. All of the symbols of beauty and love in the palm of his hand. Ready to be picked like ripe figs. 

I want to run now, far away from the tent. Away from him in fear, he'll wake up and leave as soon as he sees me. I am only me. I am only me. Only me. 

A warm gentle hand snaps me away from my thoughts. Brushing down my face and smoothing my hair back. Green watching me, curious and sleepy. I give a small whine and lean into the hand. I am too attached to his touch. Even with doubts swirling in my head, I still am drowning in his affections. Fake or not. Hopelessly indulged in affections. 

"I can see you're troubled." 

It's soft and caring. Making my heart sore at the words, wrapped in a tone of love and a hint of sleep. 

"It's nothing. Go back to sleep." I shrug off his attempts at discovering my thoughts. 

This war was not meant for me. If he finds out he'll leave sooner. Knowing I have found out his plan and execute it now. Leave me with nothing in the world. Make me lose my purpose on the beaches of Troy. 

A soft brush of lips. Gentle hands stroking my sides, making me tremble for more. Secrets threating to spill from my lips from the weak persuasion. It's intoxication and when his lips pull away I want to reach for his lips again. He denies the kiss and places a finger on my lips. 

"Tell me, please. I know you. There is something wrong. We tell each other always. Don't hide it now." 

He's right and I hate it. We tell everything. The horrors of war and the aftermath I deal with. The blood and metal mixing in the air. Horrid screams and everything in between. 

"I'm...I'm scared." 

He brushes his hand across my forehead. "Why?" 

His hands are gentle and strong. Touching my face and body as I spill forth my worries. Face never changing from the soft caring expression. An oh so beautiful face. I could die now at this moment and be happy with him as the last thing I see. 

"I fear you will leave... because..." Thick fog fills my throat. Making my words caught under it. 

He knows what I mean. "Because you are nothing compared to me?"

The nod is tiny. Tearing my eyes away from his green. 

"No." 

I am pulled from my laying position. Strength present in his burning grip. Reflected in his eyes as he looks pained. 

"Patroclus, you are not less than me. You are more than my companion and I have chosen no one but you. This life would be dull and not worth living without you by my side. Nothing compares to you. If I could change the fate I would strip myself of my powers just so I can have more time with you. Be in Chiron's cave, wrapped up in you and not worry about this war. No Hector or Paris to worry about. Just us. I never asked for my powers and to hell with them. I never asked for you but if I must reincarnate after I die. I would ask for you. Scream and cry until I could hold you in my arms again. For you are my life force. Nothing brings me more joy than you. Even the slight of you beings me a state of euphoria." 

I drop my eyes again, face burning with his words. Tears fill them and my heart surges, threatening to beat out from my chest. 

"Achilles-" 

"No, I am not done. Patroclus you are the most beautiful person to me. The most interesting and you have only grown more over the years. I can not imagine life without you. Patroclus, I am forever with you and forever yours." 

He touches our lips again as it would seal it into The Fates. Maybe that's why they kiss at weddings to make The Fates weave the couple into their threads. 

Our lips part and I want to chase after his lips again. He lies down and smiles gently. 

"Now sleep." He tugs me to his chest. 

I feel warmth flood through me and smile against his chest. Letting him running his fingers through my hair. Planting small kisses on top as well. 

"I love you Philtatos. For you are you. That is why."

**Author's Note:**

> I love them and wanted a break from studying


End file.
